Words of The Night

Mornings have been different for me;
Instead of smiling back to the sun, I find myself ignoring the beams of light shining through my window;
Often asking ‘why aren’t you here with me?’ in my head, even before I open my eyes;
I always wonder with every sunrise that my life gains, I wonder about you; 
And that is with my mind and heart knowing that it would not change a thing of my day at all;
Then I just wait silently;
Waiting for the day to say farewell and the night to fill the sky;
While with every waiting second, I drown my mind with you and stab my heart with truth;
Now in bed I wait for my sleep to crawl;
Still finding myself wondering about you;
Every last drop of consciousness belongs entirely to you;
I miss you, I love you;
I am scared, I am worried, and I am paranoid;
I need you— I thought I just needed a friend but no one will ever get rid of this discomfort but you alone;
Your presence is enough; 
Nothing more than the lines of friendship is what I want and need from you;
I am in love with you;
I am in love you forever; 
I don’t expect or hope or even wish for you to say those words back to me;
Pathetic— I know. I don’t care. I don’t mind at all;
Because there’s nothing more that anyone or anything can say or do to beat the heck out of what I feel right now about you.


(written and posted on : Oct. 31. 2011)