Someone Will Sing To Me

Til Kingdom Come by Coldplay

Don't you just love songs that makes you smile, makes you feel warm inside, and, at the same time, stings your heart? Well, I love them so much even if I know that they just push me off the edge sometimes. I avoid drama and as much as possible, I don't like to deal with anything that results to more drama. But songs like that are just so nice! 
So, for tonight I want to share with you some of my most appreciated songs at the moment:

• A Beautiful Mess - Jason Mraz
• She's the One - Robbie Williams
• Beautiful Disaster - Jon McLaughlin
• Not like the Movies - Katy Perry
• So Close - Jon McLaughlin
• You and Me - Boyce Avenue(cover)
• Us Against the World - Coldplay
• You and I - Ingrid Michaelson
• Til Kingdom Come - Coldplay 

They make me smile mainly because I often imagine someone singing some of those lovely songs to me. It's nothing really, I know that. But you know, sometimes you just have to lift yourself a bit by appreciating things even if they only exist inside your head. It sounds silly but it makes me smile, it makes my world pause for some time or slow down, and that's when happy thoughts come in. 


But it hurts. I don't know how to describe this, but it stings. It becomes heavy and it's like you can actually feel your heart sinking. I thought about how these songs make me feel this way and I know that it hurts because (for me) the idea of wishing and dreaming and imagining brings hope. And I don't like hope for now. I am getting weary every single day that passes and hoping just makes it more tiring. I know what you're thinking but I am not being a hopeless romantic here. It's just that when there is hope inside of me, I tend to do something that would not put that hope to waste, and then I expect too much of myself that when it fails, I crash. And I don't want to feel dead anymore. I've died once, and I don't want to do that to myself again. It is enough that the first time took a lot from my emotional being. It is enough that it changed me. 


I listen to these kind of songs because even if they hurt, these songs are the only thing that can make me feel like I am still capable of smiling genuinely and become unconscious of it at the same time. 


You know, I wish that one day, someone will sing one of those songs to me. :)